If condom comfort has become an issue, you may be pleased to know that manufacturers will soon be offering a wide range of sizes, and Frank Sadlo, founder of TheyFit, plans on being the first.

“It's not just about well-endowed men in cramped prophylactic quarters,” said Sadlo, “men also have problems with condoms being too large.”  While misuse may be the number one reason for condom failure, proper fit may be the second. 

Since (some) women buy bras, they are acutely aware of the size of their breasts.  That sophisticated combination of numbers and letters speaks loud and clear.  And soon men may be faced with their own precise size designation, conveying the indisputable reality.

Is the day on the horizon when women may ask, “What size do you put on?” rather than “What’s your sign?”  Is this development about gender equality?  Or table turning?  Or a reminder to us all of the

More Fun Than Ever
Beth Morgan

Everyone has sexual fantasies. (You didn't think you were the only one, did you?) If you are willing to follow, they will lead you right to the part of you that is seeking your own loving awareness. Every time. That's why they're "hot" - they are trying to get your atten- tion!

Acting them out in the real world is not helpful - even if you get something close to what you want. At best, it doesn't meet your real need, so you end up confused and frustrated. At worst, it becomes hurtful to you or someone else.

When using fantasy with your friends, always begin by talking about what, exactly, is the "heat" in your story. No need to analyze it; simply try to get to the heart of it. Then create the characters, and see where they lead you! Throughout, remember to pay attention to what you are feeling and what you need. Though the story can take surprising turns, be sure to stick to the agreements and boundaries you have set. This creates the safety for you to truly let go and play.

The characters allow hidden parts of you to be seen and ex- perienced, which brings insight and empowerment. Some fantasies involve actual life experiences that you would like to re-live with a different outcome, or with power you didn't have at the time. Some take on things you would never do in real life, for very good reasons, but which still have something to teach you. Some fantasies tap into archetypes like the queen or the captive, and lead to profound insights about life. Some are just for fun - and some characters ask to come back and play again!   (more)

Since the birth of Viagra 10 years ago, some drug companies have been scrambling to find an equivalent for women, while others have abandoned the task of unscrambling the complexities of female sexual desire, arousal and satisfaction. Research on the effect of Viagra on women has been disappointing, however a new, small study reports that women on antidepressants may benefit from the little blue pill. Viagra helped these women reach orgasm.

Psychologist Stanley Althof, Director of the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida in West Palm Beach, who was not involved in the study, shares, "For women on antidepressants with orgasm problems, this may provide some wonderful relief, but it will not improve their desire or arousal."

Proceed with Caution
"Swiping your husband’s stash or turning to Internet sources could be disappointing — or even dangerous. Any woman or man who is taking nitroglycerin drugs cannot take Viagra, Levitra or Cialis; it could be fatal. I wouldn’t in any way advocate self-medicating with...Viagra,” cautions Dr. Ira Sharlip, president of the International Society for Sexual Medicine.

Here's some additional information on Viagra for women.

The Responsibility of Orgasms
Pam Babbitt, S.I.
 

Most lovers want them. Some try very hard to get them. And many believe that orgasms are the only way to prove that sex was good.

Like snowflakes, orgasms are uniquely beautiful, no matter how they show up. They may be earth moving, heart thumping, full body blasters, out-of-body odysseys, toe curlers, skin tinglers, hair raisers, or the good old Rocky Mountain “YeeeeeHaaaaww.”

So what happens when the Big O is elusive? Whose responsibility is it?   

Scenario I – Carol is being pleasured by her partner Bob. Last week Bob turned 50 and has become concerned about his sexual performance, and now he really wants to give Carol an orgasm.  At least one. He is diligently touching her in all the right places and in all the right ways, but it just isn’t happening. That voice in his head takes over, “What am I doing wrong? This worked last time. I can't even do this like I used to.”

Carol had a stressful day at work, and although she is enjoying Bob’s touch, she is not yet able to fully relax. Soon Bob’s determination to produce the Big O is apparent. “Oh darn, I can tell he is trying really hard to give me an or- gasm, but I don’t think that is going to happen tonight, and I hate to disappoint him.  Should I fake it again?”

The pressure to perform is so distracting that Carol is now unable to enjoy the pleasure of Bob's touch at all, and lovemaking is feeling like her workday - a job with performance expectations.   (more)
 

Did You Know?

Sexual Savvy - When She Has It and He Doesn't
Pam Babbitt, S.I.

A REAL MAN is ready, willing and able to have sex anytime and anywhere.  Clearly, his role includes being the Seducer, the Mind Reader, the Touch Maven, and the Giver of Multiple and Mind-Blowing Orgasms – all with infinite stamina – indisputably proving that he is the best lover his partner has ever had.

These MYTHS hold men to unrealistic standards and can have a negative impact on their sex-confidence.  How does a man gain sexual experience without sexual experiences?

And what happens when his partner has more sexual savvy than he does..... 

Les is mesmerized when he spots Chrissie’s mass of shiny red curls cascading down her purple ski suit. The morning sun is favoring her with an aura of brightness as her lithe body bounces through the crowd and her designer sunglasses slip down her petite nose.   (more)

The "B" in GLBT
A Sermon on Bisexuality
James Zacharias, Ph.D., LMFT
JZacharias1@gmail.com

You may spot various sequences - GLBT, GBLT, LGBT, and sometimes Q. They all represent the same - Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Questioning or Queer. 

There is a story of a certain woman who lived in Westport, Connecticut for many years. Although Paul Newman had also lived in Westport for many years, she had never run into him. One day, this woman went to Baskin-Robbins to get an ice cream cone. While there the door opened and in he walked in the flesh. Well, she was determined not to lose her cool. She paid for her ice cream and left the shop. As she was walking down the street, she realized she did not have her ice cream cone. Feeling embarrassed, but determined to get what she had paid for, she re-entered the store and said to the clerk, “I’m sorry; I paid for an ice cream cone and I didn’t get it.” Whereupon, Paul Newman stepped forward and said, “Yes, you did. You put it in your purse!”

A funny story, for sure, but is it true? Recently, someone told me she had heard the same story, but it was Robert Redford in Santa Fe, who rattled a woman buying ice cream. Apparently, this story is an urban legend. Whether the story is myth or reality, however, does not matter. The point the story makes is about the human desire to maintain our cool. We all want to keep our cool, but many times we loose it, giving rise to intense moments of fear and embarrassment. Sometimes, however, our desire to tell the truth is strong enough to lead us to intentionally risk losing our cool.

About ten years ago I was in a ministers’ group. There were 17 of us present, we took turns “checking-in.” As each person spoke, I wondered what I was going to share.    (more)

Ice Cubes, Feathers, and Other Essentials
Pam Babbitt, S.I.

Condom Common Sense

• Heat, light and rough handling can break down latex.  Do not store condoms in your wallet, pocket, or glove compartment.  Do not use a condom that is over a year old.

• Condoms do not prevent transmission of HIV; though they greatly decrease your risk.  For HIV protection do not use a spermicide with the condom.  Spermicides can irritate the skin tissue making it more susceptible to viruses.

• If you have concerns regarding a loss of sensation with a condom, make sure that you have the proper size.  Also consider using a thinner brand (the package will mention the thickness), and use a little water-based lubricant inside the condom.  This will provide more stimulation.

• Do not use an oil based lubricant with a latex condom.  Oil will erode the latex, creating tiny holes for bacteria transmission, and may also cause the condom to break.

• If during partner sex your penis tends to shrink in terror when the condom appears, practice using a condom when you self-pleasure. Become familiar with your new orgasmic peak, and practice increasing and decreasing your arousal level.  You will realize that you can last longer with a condom, and the anxiety will lessen.

• For more information on safer sex, click here for Planned Parenthood.

FYI - Contrary to the photo above, condoms are not reusable.  In China, however, they are being recycled - into hair bands.   It has been found that the recycling process does not remove all risk for bacteria to be transmitted, and girls commonly put the hair bands into their mouth as they use both hands to gather their hair. 

Here's the full scoop on condom recycling from Snopes.