Dating, whether online or in-person, can be an exciting journey filled with anticipation and the potential for deep connection. However, the path to finding love or companionship can also present challenges, especially when it comes to dating safety.
In my practice as a Somatica sex and relationship coach, I teach my clients that true safety encompasses more than just physical security. It involves cultivating an awareness of your body’s signals, trusting your intuition, and setting clear boundaries.
In this blog post, we’ll explore practical dating safety tips, drawing on the principles of embodiment and somatic awareness to help you navigate the dating world with confidence and security.
Why a Somatic Approach to Dating Safety?
Traditional advice on dating safety often focuses on external measures — meeting in public places, telling friends your plans, and so on. While these are very important and I do recommend my clients meet in public and make sure a friend knows, I also teach them some deeper, embodied aspects of safety.
The Somatica Method emphasizes the importance of being in tune with your body’s wisdom. Your body communicates through sensations, emotions, and intuitive nudges. By learning to listen to these signals, you can enhance your ability to recognize potential red flags and make informed choices about who you choose to connect with.
That being said – it’s also important to remember that if something bad happens, it’s not your fault. There are people out there who manipulate and cause harm, and it is not always possible to tell the bad from the good.
An intentional, somatic approach to dating is about integrating your physical, emotional, and intuitive senses into your approach to dating safety so you have the best chance of avoiding harm. It’s about recognizing that safety is not just a set of rules but is also an embodied experience. It’s about trusting the wisdom of your own body to guide you towards experiences that feel safe and authentic.
Is Online Dating Safe? Understanding the Landscape
The rise of online dating has revolutionized how people connect, offering incredible opportunities to meet diverse people. However, it’s essential to acknowledge that the digital landscape also comes with inherent risks. The anonymity of the internet can, unfortunately, be a breeding ground for deceptive behavior. It’s therefore important to approach online dating with a combination of optimism, skepticism, and caution.
So, is online dating safe? The answer isn’t a simple yes or no. It depends on your ability to navigate potential risks and make informed decisions. It’s not about avoiding online dating altogether, but about adopting a mindful approach that prioritizes your emotional and physical safety. This includes choosing platforms that prioritize safety measures, and using safety features effectively.
Build a Foundation of Trust and Awareness in Online Dating Forays
Here are some crucial online dating safety tips that integrate somatic principles:
- Trust Your Gut Instincts: Your intuition is a powerful tool. If something feels “off” about a profile or a conversation, pay attention to that feeling. Somatically, this might manifest as a knot in your stomach, a feeling of unease, or a sense of physical discomfort. Don’t dismiss these bodily cues – they are often your subconscious mind alerting you to a potential issue.
- Start Slow and Observe: Don’t rush into meeting someone in person. Take your time to get to know them through online communication, focusing on the content of their messages and their consistency. Look for patterns in their communication. Do they respect your boundaries and time or do they push you? Do they avoid personal questions?
Notice how they respond to questions about their daily life, their social connections, and their values. Do they demonstrate empathy, kindness, and respect for others, or are there some red flags you are noticing? Pay attention to how your body feels during these interactions. Are you feeling ease and joy? Are you feeling dread, unease, or a sense of pressure?
How to Write an Online Dating Profile: 4 Essential Rules - Verify Identity and Information: Look for ways to verify the person’s identity. This might include reverse image searching their photos, checking their social media accounts, or even asking for a video call before meeting in person. Be cautious of profiles that have very few photos, limited personal information, or inconsistencies in their story.
- Don’t Over-Share Personal Information Too Early: Be selective about the personal information you share online. Avoid revealing your full name, address, workplace, or other sensitive details until you feel truly comfortable with your prospective date. Remember that you have full autonomy of the information you are sharing. Prioritize your personal security and only share the details that you feel you want to share, as opposed to information you feel is expected of you.
- Report Suspicious Profiles and Behavior: Don’t hesitate to report profiles that seem fake or exhibit concerning behavior. Reporting inappropriate behavior helps to keep the online dating community safer for everyone. You are not only protecting yourself – but also others that might be more vulnerable than you.
- Have a Phone Call or Video Call Before Meeting (Virtual Dating is Popular!): Before meeting in person, have a video or phone call to get a better sense of who your prospective is. This can help you gauge their authenticity, their communication style, and help you decide if you feel safe moving forward with a face-to-face meeting. This also allows you to use your intuition better to get a deeper sense of the other person.
- Meet in a Public Place for the First Few Dates: Always choose a public, well-lit location for your first few dates. Avoid meeting at someone’s home or a secluded area until you feel entirely comfortable and secure. Prioritize public spaces where others are present. It’s important to be visible and to know that you are seen by others in case something goes wrong.
Dating Safety Tips for In-Person Encounters is All About Embodied Awareness
Moving from online to in-person encounters requires a heightened level of awareness and preparation. Here are some dating safety tips to keep in mind for face-to-face meetings:
- Tell a Friend Your Plans: Before going on a date, let a friend or family member know where you’re going, who you’re meeting, and when you expect to be back. Share the details of the date, the name and picture of your date, and the location of the date. It’s always good to have a safety net of people who know where you are.
- Check In With Your Body Regularly: Throughout the date, pay attention to your bodily sensations. Are you feeling relaxed and comfortable, or are you noticing tension, discomfort, or anxiety? If you start to feel unsafe, trust that feeling. It’s okay to end the date early if you need to.
- Have an Exit Strategy: Plan an exit strategy beforehand. This might include having a friend call you at a certain time, arranging a ride home, or knowing the location of public transportation.
- Trust Your Intuition: If something feels “off” during the date, trust your instincts. Don’t worry about being polite or hurting someone’s feelings if you feel unsafe. Your safety comes first. Remember you have the right to end a date at any time if you feel uncomfortable.
- Be Mindful of Alcohol Consumption: Avoid drinking too much alcohol or consuming other mind-altering substances, as they can impair your judgment and make you more vulnerable. If you choose to drink, do so moderately. Make sure that you have your wits about you in order to stay alert and present.
- Set Clear Boundaries and Communicate Them: Clearly communicate your boundaries early and assertively. If someone makes you uncomfortable, say so. This might involve clearly expressing your discomfort with specific topics of conversation, or specific physical actions. Remember that consent is an ongoing process and it can be retracted at any time.
How Many Dates Should You Have Before Sex? - Be Aware of Your Surroundings: Stay mindful of your surroundings. Notice the exits, the presence of other people, and any potential risks. Keep your phone charged and readily available for emergencies.
- Notice Potential Helpers: If you are at a bar, for example, you can tell a bartender that you want an “angel shot”. Many bartenders know that this means that your date is making you feel uncomfortable. While you might be thinking, “do all bartenders know what an angel shot is”, the truth is some will know and others won’t. Regardless, you can ask a bartender for help, and also ask for someone to walk you to your car if you are worried about being followed.
Which Are the Safest Dating Apps?
While no dating app can guarantee 100% safety, some platforms prioritize safety measures more than others. When choosing a dating app, look for features like:
- Photo Verification: This helps confirm that profiles are genuine.
- Reporting and Blocking: These options allow you to report and block users exhibiting suspicious behavior.
- Privacy Settings: These features allow you to control who sees your profile and information.
- Community Guidelines: These guidelines promote respectful and responsible interactions.
While I won’t endorse specific apps, I encourage you to research the apps you are considering so you can avoid the most dangerous dating apps. Look for those with strong safety protocols, transparent policies, and positive user reviews regarding safety measures. Do some digging online to determine which dating app is best aligned with your needs, and do it using the above tips in mind.
Somatica Empowers You to Date with Confidence
Dating safety is not about living in fear but about empowering yourself to navigate the world with confidence and awareness.
By embracing a somatic approach to dating safety, you can create a dating experience for yourself that is both enjoyable and secure. This will give you the space to pursue meaningful connections
